136802

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head? I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob."

"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? tape velcro to the ceiling."

"My mate was freaking out today, crying and all. He had no idea how he was going to become the fruit farmer he'd always dreamed of being. I told him to grow a pear."

"Ugh I hate fake fans. Everybody here is standing up & singing along to his big hit, but probably cant name 3 other Francis Scott Key songs."

"How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?!"

"Back in my day, you didn't even know who was calling you when your phone rang. Shit was scary."

"Did you know Hitler's father was a cobbler? He made Jews."

"We need to stop ISIS. Then we can call them WASWAS."

"I was stuck in traffic while on the road in Ireland... Cork was in a bottleneck."

"You sneak into my room, unnoticed you gently touch one bit of my naked body after the other until you find the most desirable place, then you start sucking. Stupid mosquitoes!"