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Joke of the Day

"Gender fluid I'm gender fluid. Some times I'm a man, and some times I'm a woman. It depends on which restroom is available."

"I bet Metallica gets really upset whenever they walk through a metal detector and it doesn't go off."

"What does a redneck say after sex? Thanks, sis."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says, ""I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic."" The bartender says, ""Sure, but what about the big pause?"" The bear says, ""I was born with them."""

"What, according to Freud, comes between fear and sex? ...funf."

"When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette."

"proud of my upstairs neighbors for finally pulling it together and working up the energy to vacuum every inch of their place at 10:27 pm"

"New Password So I tried to make my new password 'beef stew.' But it wasn't stroganoff."

"Thank god we don't have thought bubbles above our heads. I'd be in trouble 99% of the time."

"How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? ""Ummm ... forget about the changing the lightbulb, honey, maybe let's start with changing those curtains"""