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Joke of the Day

"Solid Snake is hiding in the shadows what time is it? Time for you to get a watch."

"I was going to tell a gay joke Butt fuck it"

"I stayed at my girlfriends house the other day but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together Which was a shame because he's really fit"

"My son is a real hand full. I didn't have any tissues handy."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you do not talk about, name, hint at, refer to, discuss, or mention Thesaurus Club."

"People keep comparing Trump to Hitler, but that is just not true. I mean, Hitler could paint."

"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"What do you call an anthropomorphic car that's attracted to itself? Autosexual."

"ENTER PASSWORD password YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO LITERAL PLEASE TRY AGAIN again ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW"

"Prom tip: DON'T HAVE A BABY"