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Joke of the Day

"Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you'll see me doing the worm on the runway"

"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and the other will see you in a while."

"In light of the recent NASA news.... Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in a piece of gum? No? Well he got stuck in Orbit."

"What does a Jewish guy say when he's making eggs? I-fry-em"

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it"

"I wanted to become a dictator... but I was only partially qualified."

"I'm thinking about taking a break from drinking . I hear drinking too much water can be deadly"

"Two packets of crisps were walking down the street. A car slows down beside them and asks if they wanted a ride to where they were going. The crisps replied 'no, we're Walkers'"

"Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?"

"So I went around to a friends house... And on his mantle was a bronze statue of an animal butt. When I asked him about it he said it was a catastrophe."