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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor came over and knocked on my door at 3 a.m. the other night. Three in the morning, can you believe it?! He was lucky I was still up playing my drums."

"Every female knows that one annoying boy who constantly asks ""So when we gonna chill?"""

"I thought of pick up line that only works on mexicans. Are you Mexican? Because I wanna get jalapeno."

"How is using the Pirate Bay like hiring a prostitute? Only nerds brag about doing it"

"I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG"

"There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with ""I have time."""

"Why did the English major break up with the pilot? Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over."

"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."

"My husband fell asleep while watching Memento...was shocked to find ""remember to NOT trust your wife"" written on his forehead with a Sharpie"

"At first I didn't like beards, But then they grew on me"