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Joke of the Day

"My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. (Joke by Jimmy Carr)"

"What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician? With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed..."

"How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !"

"Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? There's a great view, but no atmosphere."

"Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle."

"How did Popeye buy long sleeve shirts?"

""" I gotta see this guys best tweet, I'll gift him Favstar Pro"". Said no one ever."

"I decided to leave work an hour early today You should have seen the look on the co-pilot's face when I grabbed that parachute."

"A girl gave me a dirty look for holding the door... Sheez, I'll never hold the door for them again especially when I have to piss badly."

"They should probably have a feature that disables liking horrible statuses on Facebook. Last week 14 people liked that my friend's mom died. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but still."