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Joke of the Day

"What is Polish roulette? It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol."

"What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk? A dead bird."

"Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming ""Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"""

"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."

"Life sucks, I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like."

"What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30000 feet ? A bee is an aeroplane !"

"[first date] ""so what do you do?"" *thinking about the jar of coins I plan to use for new shrubs* I'm a hedge fund manager"

"Wanna hear a joke about Youtube comments? I'll tell it once this gets 500 upvotes."

"Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows"

"Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !"