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Joke of the Day

"What is Polish roulette? It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol."

"I posted a selfie and someone commented ""Oh my! That was brave.""."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty bastards."

"Either I just stepped in dog shit or the stench of my parent's disappointment has started following me around."

"I have a bumper sticker in Braille If you can read this, you're driving too close."

"What do we want now!? When do we want 'em? Time machines!"

"What gets very small when exposed to cold? **YOUR PE**..anut butter ice cream crave"

"Why don't Mexicans take drivers Ed and sex Ed on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break."

"To all of you who tweet constantly about drinking wine... Somebody has to say it. GRAPE JOKES AREN'T FUNNY."

"My dick is like Amazon Prime... It comes fast :("