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Joke of the Day

"When decorating your tween daughter's room, don't forget to leave ample space for half the glasses in your kitchen."

"Why are jews not creative? Because they can't think outside the BOX."

"You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too."

"Did you hear the one about the falling eggs? It will crack you up I'll just go now"

"What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them? WASWAS."

"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."

"Thanks, baby Jesus, for helping me get that new job instead of helping millions of children find water and food. I know it was a tough call."

"Man to wife: Business is bad, if YOU learn TO cook we can remove servant. Wife: If YOU learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..."

"Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet."

"What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady? And we will never know because he can't stand up."