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Joke of the Day

"[interview] Your resume says you have a ""take no prisoners attitude"". You know you are applying to be a corrections officer, right?"

"How many Communists does is take to screw in a light bulb? All of them."

"What is the worst type of doctor you can be? gynecologist - because in the hole that the whole world is looking for pleasure, he's looking for problems."

"I was walking downtown, and I passed this homeless man who started shaking his cup of change at me and I was like, okay, dick, I get it, you have more money than me, don't rub it in."

"Why did the farmer name his pig ""pork Chop"" Because 'Bacon' was already taken."

"Wanna find out how I made my dick 12 inches? I folded it in half."

"I'm more excited to see my suitcase come down the baggage carousel at an airport than I am to see most people."

"Really the only advantage of a rainy day is that it is illegal to exercise."

"Two doctors were discussing the game Proctologist:""Did you see the game last night?"" Neurologist: ""No, did we beat them?"" Proctologist: ""We didn't just beat em, we rectum!"

"Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie"