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Joke of the Day

"Why was the steel angry? Because it lost it's temper."

"My cousin is a terrible proofreader. He always drinks a bottle of Jack Daniels before he checks my work."

"r/ best ""I like my ( ) like I like my ( )"" I like my women how I like my natural resources, Foreign and Untapped. Top that and you win rule of the internet #899"

"I looked out the window earlier and the sky was bright green. I thought, 'I've got the fucking plane upside down."""

"Can you help me with this problem? X+U=25 I think X=15, because U sure are a 10."

"Author: So, I've got this children's book. It's about a hungry caterpillar. Agent: Pass Author: A VERY hungry caterpillar. Agent: Go on..."

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field."

"My friend left his job at a nut factory... Cause they paid him peanuts..."

"Adding anyone comment need to no my safari"

"About to hit the ball Boss: you said you'd played before? Me: uh yes Boss: that's a putter Me: Is that wrong? Boss: wrong for squash yes"