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Joke of the Day

"Last chance to use the washroom before I shower! Speak now or forever hold your pees."

"What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"In a Catholic boarding school, how do you know when to go to bed? The big hand touches the little hand."

"People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements"

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"Damn girl, are you a math book? Girl:No, why? Because you've got so many problems."

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None- that's hardware."

"Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"

"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."

"What's the best part about being a mute? It goes without saying..."