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Joke of the Day

"What was the scary guy on Tinder doing? Intimidating others."

"What do you get when you mix lemonade and ice tea? A dead golfer..."

"My wife accused me of fogging up our bathroom mirror But I really can't see myself doing that."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I have never payed for a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"That awkward moment when someone says ""stop"", and you don't know whether to respond with ""collaborate and listen"" or ""hammer time."""

"What do you call a barn full of black people? Antique farm equipment."

"White smoke is coming out of my neighbor's house. He either elected a new Pope or he's got some good weed."

"Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat."

"How long can one listen to a kid talk before it's officially considered a hostage situation?"