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Joke of the Day

"I just want to take you out... With an AK-47... & you thought on a date...hahaha."

"Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant... Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction"

"RIP Daenerys Targaryen we will miss you. #SPOILERALERT Just kidding. I haven't seen the latest episode yet."

"How do trains eat? They go chew chew!"

"came from my uncle: Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast? because the population is always Dublin."

"Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret."

"A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names"

"I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking."

"What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue? I'm stuck."