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Joke of the Day

"I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking."

"How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew!"

"What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head? A eunucorn."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but ... I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."""

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"I'm so lonely I bought a plane ticket just for the airport pat down."

"To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds... Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods."

"My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses. She's going to open a furniture store called 'Sofa King' and I'm going to open a soup restaurant next door called 'Stew Pit'."

"If you love Batman, let him go, because Batman Returns."