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Joke of the Day

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits' feet."

"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"

"I am in the S&M period in my relationship She sleeps, I masturbate."

"Why does a dog? Why does a dog lick its butt? To get the taste of dog food out of its mouth."

"""Jess is coming over"" ""Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-"" *Gets stabbed to death* ""Yes"""

"How do you make a dead baby float? Root Beer and 2 scoops of ice cream!"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free"

"Mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop Called Monsters Ink"

"Which cheese is made backwards? Edam"