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Joke of the Day

"""Jess is coming over"" ""Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-"" *Gets stabbed to death* ""Yes"""

"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."

"Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs. Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page."

"Why did email come easy to the lumberjack? He was already very familiar with loggin' :D"

"A couple in therapy The wife: ""I'm just tired of him getting sayings wrong."" The therapist: ""Do you really do that?"" The husband: ""Oh, cry me a table!"""

"OK, guy with the two kayaks and two bikes strapped to his Subaru Outback: settle down. Save some outdoors for the rest of us."

"Confucius Says Baseball is wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk."

"There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant. Yet another disaster avoided."

"Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other? They already know everything."

"What's the similarity between light beer and having sex in a canoe? They both increase the risk of drowning."