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Joke of the Day

"The horror of hearing the anesthesiologist say, ""YOLO,"" as he puts you under."

"Why did Constantinople fall? Itstumbled."

"my girlfriends said if this gets 1000 up votes then I probably reposted somebody elses joke"

"Today's lunch: Pan fried pork chops, cheesy hash brown casserole, peach cobbler, a quick defibrillation and two stents."

"Don't forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards."

"ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT"

"I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods"

"I get it ladies, I had abs before I had kids too."

"Why is everyone always late to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Anonymous meetings? Because they're all tied up, but coming soon."

"I find it kinda funny that people still reuse memes from 10 years ago and i find it kinda sad that these things these people talk of are the best they ever have."