131638

Joke of the Day

"Why is everyone always late to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Anonymous meetings? Because they're all tied up, but coming soon."

"What do you call it when a male mathematician imagines himself having an orgasm? Squirt(-1)."

"What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady... But we didn't know because he couldn't stand up?"

"What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend? You Cantaloupe."

"If ifs & buts were candy & nuts, the first part of this sentence would read ""Candy candies & nuts were candy & nuts."" ...Confusing, right?"

"Music Joke Nobody could find Beethoven's teacher because he is Haydn."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense"

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."

"Have you ever heard of that car with an engine made of wood? It wooden go."

"Q: How do mathematicians scold their children? A: ""If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times ..."""