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Joke of the Day

"I said I was a man with a plan. I said nothing about it being a good plan."

"What's the capital of Canada? Tim Hortons."

"My dog took his raw food upstairs and ate it in my bed. How's your night going?"

"Just in case the FBI turns on my web cam, I've got a teeny tiny picture of Jimmy Hoffa taped to the lens."

"Why dont Canadian colleges have spring break First , you need spring."

"My uncle was a weird man...Artificial Legs.... Real feet"

"I'd write a rap song... ..but i'm too Lay-Z"

"Did you hear about the French Olympic race walker who pooped his pants mid race? At least he didn't oui in them too."

"Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A: Virgin Mobile"

"I used to be afraid of flying in planes Until I tried it without one."