135770

Joke of the Day

"That Chief Keef album hypnotized me earlier. I didn't even realize I was stealing from my mama purse until she paused my music."

Next Joke
 
"I just got one of those workout watches apparently i've masturbated 5.8 miles today"
"Got arrested for playing the guitar. Because I was fingering A minor."
"""Thanks for sending me that 17 second cellphone video from that concert you went to! The audio and video were amazing!"" - said no one, ever"
"What is Donald Trump's favorite nation? Discrimination."
"*Feels the chill* Chill: I have a boyfriend"
"What do you call an irritated nerd? A noyd."
"""You're getting an MFA in English? Wasn't your Bachelor's useless enough for you?"" -second degree burn"
"I asked my doctor if there were any jokes in my body. No pun in tendon."
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? Give me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid."