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Joke of the Day
"Look, don't ask me about the blind masturbation competition. I don't know where I came."
Next Joke
"I'm so hungry, I could eat this food without even instagraming it first. No, but seriously, I'm going to instagram it first. Don't be crazy"
"""That was mesmerizing!"" I know another big word... huge."
"My 5 year old is stuck inside a duvet cover right now so I think I'm going to go for a walk and just let Darwin solve this one."
"According to old paintings, there's mad titties in heaven."
"It's just a matter of time before they add the word ""Syndrome"" after my last name."
"Any bar is a karaoke bar if you're drunk enough."
"My girlfriend says if this post will get 1000 upvotes she'll start to exist :'("
"Man sentenced to five years for masturbating with soap in public. Came clean in court."
"All these what? Whenever a Jamaican women talks about ""all these terrible shootings"" I'm never sure if they mean gun violence, or footwear accessories."