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Joke of the Day

"Black Lives Matter is protesting the Twin Cities Marathon... ...there must be a huge race issue in America"

"What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument? No lye?"

"""Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip."" Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip. Dispatcher: Go ahead. Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay."

"There were seven dwarves in a bath feeling happy Happy needed years of intensive therapy and counselling before eventually committing suicide"

"Which is an Islamic trait? A.heading B.heading C.heading"

"One fun thing about having a crappy car is abruptly shutting off the air conditioner on the highway and pretending you have a hyperdrive."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Give Michael Cera a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll be like, ""ewww you have to touch worms? Gross"""

"If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her"

"Who takes a shit while they're at a party? A Party Pooper"