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Joke of the Day

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind."

"Me: Feel free to name your next kid after me. Coworker: Why would I name my kid ""Giant Douchebag?"""

"my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET"

"I hear that strong instruments are best at the inner city. You always hear the news say, inner city violins this... inner city violins that."

"Mayweather Vs Pacquiao A fight ? That's a laugh .... I've had tougher fights getting my kids to take their baths!!"

"How do you confuse a Jew? Tell him pork is on sale!!!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get."