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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus depot and a lobster with big boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Probably already been done but... What is wrong with a humorless person? A broken funny bone. I'll leave now."

"I was in the bank yesterday and all the money floated out of the vault and flew right out the door... It was a polterheist."

"My roommate said he was going to quite masterbating I asked how that was going. He said, ""I don't know man I just haven't been feeling myself."""

"A friend's uncle asked how to use Amazon. He may need an Internet primer... ...do you think Sherwin-Williams makes one?"

"If you spell race car backwards... You get what Honda owners wish they had."

"What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific. *cymbal clash*"

"German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a plate with two dots on it....."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and stored in the freezer... ** Stolen from a TV comic I heard, to I take no credit, here"

"What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace."