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Joke of the Day

"Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life."

"What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table ? He gets splinters in his mouth !"

"I take my women the same way i take my presidents. Half black and no Bush."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck it's dick."

"I hate control freaks. They never listen to me."

"If by ""be (your) girlfriend"" you mean ""catch spiders and hide them in your pockets everyday"" then yes, I'll be your girlfriend."

"What were the last words of king Laius? ""Mother fucker."""

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?"

"When I fight Authority, Authority always makes me submit a lot of paperwork."

"Hello I'm Janardhan and I just had sex with a hedgehog. It was a little prickly at first but then I stopped masturbating and just went for it."