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Joke of the Day

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself? I can't even"

"A man asks his dog, ""Can you speak English?"" The dog replies, ""Por supuesto que puedo hombre no tonta, soy un perro!"""

"Two Irish men talking. - I saw my girlfriend going to the movies with another guy the other night. - Oh my god. Did you follow them? - No. - Why not? - I had watched the movie before."

"How do you get a Catholic Nun to have sex? Dress her up like an altar boy"

"My local post office uses four checkouts unless it's really busy; then they use one."

"Why did the emoji fly to Syria? It wanted to become an Emojihad!"

"What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace."

"So a lumber jack was severely injured this evening... It was quite the accident."

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."