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Joke of the Day

"I saw a man sitting on a curb looking down on his luck so I gave him a dollar he gave it back and said "" I'm not homeless, I'm married """

"Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one."

"What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects? Is it about black people?"

"Kim Jong il is dead? I guess that's the end of HIS Korea."

"What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby? I don't use sugar in my signature cookies."

"Guys I finally came up with a name for our character: Spongebob ""Perfect!"" Thanks ""What's his last name?"" Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants"

"Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn't take it Miss."

"hey it's me, the girl who just googled ""chemistry alphabet"" when i meant ""periodic table"""

"Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell ""Thank You ""just to leave them hanging."

"What the difference between jews and harry potter Harry got out of the chamber alive"