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Joke of the Day

"Why are executioners so rich? Because they make a killing"

"I could Juggle right now, but I don't have the balls to do it."

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"Because you know I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble. I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble."

"The MI5 are watching every move I make and breath I take... It seems it's a sting operation"

"The office supplier gave us some cheap toilet paper and now we've got a real mess on our hands."

"How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human? None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark"

"Dad: I'm so hungry. Me: Hi, so hungry I'm son! *Dad turns head very slowly* [camera cuts to Dad patting down pile of dirt with shovel]"

"A neutron walks into a bar. If you dont know how the rest goes im sorry you dont deserve to be on the internet."

"Neckbeard goes to the doctor, feeling abnormal. He had a ma'lady."