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Joke of the Day

"So my wife said to me, ""I swear, it's like all men share one brain"" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain"

"Why did Avogadro have trouble picking up chicks? Because his number couldn't fit in their phones"

"Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank."

"Giving ""the silent treatment"" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say."

"During the height of the Cold War, spies were prepared to commit suicide if caught, with the help of a tiny #weed cigarette."

"What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred? Tequila Mockingbird."

"I'm just typing some words in a box for you to look at."

"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"

"Everyone has something they do after sex like taking a shower. I just get out of my uncles car, and cry all the way home."

"My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips."