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Joke of the Day

"You can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone crazy here! Of course, if you're swinging a dead cat you probably shouldn't be so judgy."

"You ever stick your dick in pecan pie? It's fucking nuts."

"What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day? A hug and a little quiche."

"How do you piss off a gay guy? Fuck his boyfriend in the ass, then wipe your dick on his curtains."

"Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid? Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times."

"Just watched the amazing Spiderman 2, thought of this. I thought Spiderman was going to kick the crap out of electro, but it turns out he's black and blue to start with."

"I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population"

"What did one condom say to the other at a gay bar? Let's get shitfaced!"

"(Dark humor) what's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? ROFLMFAO! JK! Lolz Ttyl KK Ur BFF, Hannibal ~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages"