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Joke of the Day

"Everybody mad at me like it's common knowledge to wait til after the eulogy before you start clapping. Sorry I didn't go to funeral college."

"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget....."

"TIL reddit automatically change your password to asterisks whenever you type it in a comment."

"Runs away from you... Looks back to laugh at you... Runs into pole."

"A cop stops an electron for speeding. He says ""Did you know you were going 100 mph?"" ""Great"", says the electron, ""now I'm lost!"""

"One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast."

"I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms. Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs."

"How do you make a tissue dance? By putting a little boogie in it!"

"I usually do not show favoritism... I usually do not show favoritism between my two daughters, but only one of them does anal."

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"