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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Pakistani military post and a Pakistani elementary school? Beats me, I just man the drone."

"What's the same about an election and an erection? They're only one letter different, and both are about a dick rising to power."

"Alcohol is a perfect solvent. It dissolves marriages, families and careers."

"[Worm sitting alone] WAITER: Dinner for 1? Dumb question W: But- *worm cuts self in half* *waiter shrieks* 2nd WORM: I'll have the prime rib"

"[OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? Because he lost interest."

"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."

"Jokes about stuttering are a big big no no"

"I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!"

"You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose."

"Did you hear about the amateur porn actor with the invisible dick? He came out of nowhere."