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Joke of the Day

"I put a Justin Bieber's song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don't have to listen to that sh1t"

Next Joke
 
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"
"What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub? a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul."
"Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year The first Apple product that doesn't suck (not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)"
"Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you..."
"[talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man"
"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("
"Why doesn't ISIS Like School? Because they always bombed their tests."
"terrifying if it really happened: the kiss emoji with the heart coming out of the mouth"
"Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun Get in the van"