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Joke of the Day

"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she said ""is that the best you can do?""."

"I save a lot of money on all my tooth extractions by engaging in street fights.."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because that's where the submarine was."

"What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood."

"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."

"I stayed at a hotel in Silicon Valley last night... The amenities were great. They even gave me a complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor."

"The fastest way to get your kids to shut up is to ask them a question you want answered."

"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."

"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"

"Did you hear about the comedian terrorist? He was Jihahahadist!"