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Joke of the Day

"Two girl twins are born. One is named Skye after her perfect blue eyes The other has cataracts, so was called Claudia"

"Me and my girlfriend always wanted a baby. We tried really hard, but nothing worked. We finally got one when we expected it the least! BAM, over the whole windshield."

"Reddit is going orange From what I hear it's a new black."

"Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin...no matter how epic it is"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired."

"There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know... 2)"

"What key do you need to open a banana? A monkey"

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"I really enjoy banging Asian babes, but.... every time I look down to check out the action, my dick is pixelated!"

"*Runs into bank with gun* Alright! Everyone put your hands up! *Tickles everyone*"