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Joke of the Day
"I've got a new ringtone. This anal bleaching is rather good."
Next Joke
"What does the ""B"" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot."
"I'm starting an Atheist corporation... it's a non-prophet organization."
"""Daddy?"" ""Yes?"" ""What are you doing?"" ""Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."""
"How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along? Sew sew"
"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."
"Dear every hip hop artist: No, I don't know what you're saying. Maybe if you ask me another 36 times before the song is over."
"Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent Is a driver's Ed instructor"
"What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring? Panda-monium."
"I like my problems like i like my women Constantly following me"