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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"

"I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing he'll do today is buy bedroom curtains."

"My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates."

"I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me."

"Pasta & Postmodernism What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli? Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta."

"What is the difference between a soap and a jew? There isn't."

"I'm sorry, I don't see why you can't have a crack house AND have it tastefully decorated."

"Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming ""HELP SHARK, HELP!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you."

"Life is a lot like a game of golf... Too many strokes and you loose."