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Joke of the Day

"Boy the things I did to that tirimisu were obscene! It was sort of embarrassing when they asked me to go back to my own table though."

"The 1st to apologize is the bravest. The 1st to forgive, the strongest. The 1st to forget, the happiest.nnThe first to kill the other, WINS."

"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."

"What's the difference between pussy and actuall pussy? I dont know, I've only seen kittens out of those two."

"[DIY] How to turn your dishwasher into a snowblower Buy the bitch a shovel"

"What does a mathematician do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls? They don't have a pilots license."

"When I die, can you do me a favor and tell my wife that I loved her? Thanks. Oh and delete my tweets. My password is thisbitchiskillingme."

"What's the difference between a lobster with implants and an old, dirty bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and one's a crusty bus station."

"A piece of ham Ham is ham. The end"