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Joke of the Day

"I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: ""If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me""."

"What do you call a green man sitting on my porch? My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want."

"What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A BMW's pricks are on the inside!"

"Why are gay men so creative? They think outside the box."

"Dear investors, I'd like to make a chap stick called ""food court Chinese food."" Please snapchat if interested."

"Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories? Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy."

"What did the beach boys play at their reunion show? Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger."

"Him: So what are you into? Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics."

"This year's the year of the rooster, so I ate chicken. Next year's the year of the dog."

"A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox"