134739

Joke of the Day

"I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: ""If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me""."

"""Hand me downs"" Apparently not the right way to ask the wife to hand me our disabled baby."

"Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars"

"Did you hear about the Spaniard who was obsessed with Greek Mythology? I said to him, ""Jesus?"" and he replied, ""Where's Zeus?"""

"What do you call a sheep with no legs ? A cloud."

"How do you catch a dyslexic fish? Ya get it Hooked on Phonics!"

"Just took $20 out of my friend Martin's wallet (he has ALS) because that ice bucket nonsense ruined my new kimono."

"why is Peter Pan always flying because he neverlands."

"Why did the mexican push his wife over the bridge? ""Tequila"""

"Had a fight with a janitor once, wiped the floor with him"