40151

Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off It's hard"

"There's only one problem with reading articles about space based technology It all goes waaaay over my head."

"Why didn't crab and lobster like to share? They were both two shellfish"

"Work like you don't need the money: Just stop and go home. Who cares? You don't need that money"

"I'm rubber. You're glue. I don't conduct low voltage electricity. You're great for arts & crafts."

"Says if you're happy and you know it drop your pants!!"

"Why don't atheists use exponents? Because they don't believe in higher powers."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."

"How convenient, I can cook this lasagna in the microwave in 30 seconds, or in my oven in 4 days."