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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"What murder mystery is especially popular among mathematicians? the Sin of 4"

"What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating in the air? You shout, ""Drop it, Nigga!"""

"'He looks just like you' is my favorite way to tell someone that their baby is ugly."

"I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today."

"If I say ""last Star Wars"" and u say ""Actually you mean 3rd Star Wars! It's a prequel!"" I'm going to hit u with a fish tank."

"Jesus drove a Honda but didn't talk about it. *""For I did not speak of my own Accord""* (John 12:49)"

"A Kinect game made me angry enough to throw the controller at a wall... I've been in the hospital for 2 days now."

"So what kills a joke? The punch line . . ."

"I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory."