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Joke of the Day

"don't worry, if there's a third world war, the United States won't be involved because it's a first world country"

Next Joke
 
"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their liquor--They always black out"
"What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels."
"Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break."
"Does anyone have any good Tokyo Ghoul puns? I would love if someone would comment some Tokyo Ghoul jokes/puns! Or Attack on Titan... Thx!"
"robber: give me the money! *points gun at cashier* cashier: wait thats just a blow dryer nervous snowman patron: please just do as he says!"
"Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I'm 100% behind you."
"Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend? He just needed some space."
"MOM: [walks into daughter's room, sees protest signs, history books, list of senators' phone numbers on bed] Are you... politically active?"
"We must be in the bathroom... because uraneight. I literally just made this up, might explain why its so so"