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Joke of the Day

"If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies? A swallow"

"How exactly is carrying a screaming two year old different from playing the bagpipes?"

"Grandma, the words are very similar, but you ""butt dialed"" me. You didn't booty call me."

"In order to save money I installed a sound chip into my wallet. Now when it opens it plays a song by Creed so I quickly have to close it."

"Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public... I guess she wanted it to be more Loki."

"We were gonna give you money but thought you might prefer the limited buying power of a gift card. Don't spend it all in one place! lol jk"

"Why did the snowman smile? ...because he saw the snowblower coming."

"What do you call an angry Iron Man at a Skrillex concert? Stark Raving Mad"

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREEEEEATHE!!!!!"

"FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say ""EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN"" Then watch how mad he gets."