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Joke of the Day

"What should you do if your walls get cold? Put on another coat."

"There's a song about dancing like Uma Thurman, but not about dancing like Gaston. No one dances like Gaston!"

"Two muffins were baking in an oven... One says ""It's really hot in here"" & the other one said ""Oh crap! A talking muffin"". Kristen Schaal"

"This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman (for a Monday morning pick-me-up.)"

"How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go swimming?"

"An atheist, a vegan, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."

"An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers "" I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"Why was the Router released early from prison? It had connections."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was too much pride on his side."

"[Troy in the olden times] ""WTF is that?"" A wooden horse ""It's not full of soldiers is it?"" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK"