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Joke of the Day

"Hey can you take the next left? I gotta drop the cosby kids off at the pool."

"The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship ""I apologize"" and ""You are right."""

"*on deathbed* ""Son u were *cough* ado-"" ""Dad? I was adopted?!"" ""A dot of misery on my otherwise happy life. I don't know why we adopted u."""

"What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common? We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed."

"When he's out driving where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter."

"Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"What is the name of that casino on the beach? Pair-a-dice."

"My teenage daughter is TRYING to say, ""I miss you dad, please take me fishing."" But it keeps coming out like, ""Hey, can I have $20 dollars."""

"Do you know the difference between 5 minutes of blowjob and 5 minutes of sodomy ? Do you have 10 minutes ?"

"A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered."