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Joke of the Day

"I'm running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left."

"Being baptized is like having antivirus for a PC It helps protect you from consequences of sinning going forward (but not guaranteed)"

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer? PC Plod."

"My wife has cancer and the doctor has prescribed heavy morphine doses for the pain and distress. It works, when I have taken them I can hardly hear her crying at all."

"Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, ""Is this Disney World?!"" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" *slap* ""We will ask questions!"""

"After today the rest of the world will get ""FOUR MORE YEARS!"" without having to hear about the US election."

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat."