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Joke of the Day

"While you're busy staring at your phone flirting, your bored and neglected spouse is probably out fcuking someone else for real."

"Mr. Salad asks Ms. Soup to go on a date. Ms. Soup accepts. ""What should I wear?"" Mr. Salad asks. She replies, ""It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."""

"My friend is a German butcher He always tells me the wurst jokes."

"Donald Trump is basically the villain in every anime so I assume he'll be defeated by a 13-year-old boy in short pants"

"Just got out of a 13 month coma Just in time to see my child born!"

"When they eventually make a movie about Joseph Fritzel it'll be called 'Honey, I've entrapped, raped, impregnated and demoralized the kids.'"

"Hear about that Saudi girl? Sunnibody try to kill her, but Shiite"

"Did you hear the founders of New York City were Jewish..... Who else can buy the most valuable land in the world for 26 seashells."

"What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half."

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."