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Joke of the Day
"Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it."
Next Joke
"Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go."
"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."
"I turned 18 today so the first thing I did was your mom"
"Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus"
"One hard thing to explain to people under 20 is how legitimately exciting it used to be when someone would wheel in an overhead projector."
"The string of expletives that poured from my mouth when I woke up at 3 pm to realize my alarm didn't go off was pure smut poetry"
"What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common? the resistance of both drop when doped."
"Life stops when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing."
"An only child invented the boomerang."