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Joke of the Day

"He died doing what he loved; getting stabbed to death in a TJ Maxx."

"What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make? ITS RAWR!"

"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."

"Honey, I think the milks gone bad ""what makes you say that dear?"" *milk presses the gun to my back* just a hunch, btw where's your purse?"

"I asked my friend if drinking Metamucil because I love the taste of orange juice is weird She said, ""no... regular people do it all the time!"""

"I am not racist ... My shadow is black."

"My mom was the best mom. I hope your mom spends today thinking about what she could've done to get on my mom's level."

"What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z? They're not infallible"

"Beethoven asks his audience: ""Is everyone ready to hear some symphonies!?"" The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: ""I can't hear you!"""

"Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail."