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Joke of the Day

"Honey, I think the milks gone bad ""what makes you say that dear?"" *milk presses the gun to my back* just a hunch, btw where's your purse?"

"If you think that there's nothing that can make your plants stay alive... Watering can"

"What is the definition of delusional? A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?"

"There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule."

"how do you make 7 even? remove the ""s"""

"Slave1: I never knew my parents Slave2: same Moses: I was put in a basket & placed in a river Slave1: do baskets float? Moses: they do not"

"Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM."

"Sometimes I like to lie on the kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb."

"I must be fucking great in the sack Every girl I've ever had sex with has told me she wishes it had been longer!"

"Dog limps into the O.K. Corral. ""I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."""